What to get the groom who has everything - now that he has you

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Something personal could be just the thing. | FILE PHOTO

Q: My fiance and I want to exchange gifts on the wedding day. Just one problem: What do I get him?!
A: Look for a gift that represents something you've shared. If you love doing crossword puzzles together, you could get him a leather-bound book of The New York Times puzzles. Or have a photo from an amazing vacation you took together made into a painting. Other options: a gift he can wear at the wedding, like personalized cuff links, or something for the honeymoon, like scuba or ski gear.

Q: Do I have to invite the women in my fiance's family to my bachelorette party? I invited them to the shower, but I'm not close with them and I'd prefer to keep the party to just good friends.

A: Assuming you're not including one of his relatives in your lineup, it's perfectly fine to limit the bachelorette festivities to the bridal party and close friends, especially if you're inviting his family to the shower.

If they ask you about the party, simply say your maid of honor planned something small for just the bridesmaids, but you're really excited to have them at the shower. If, on the other hand, any of your future family members are in the bridal party, then you should also include them in all the pre-wedding parties, including the bachelorette.

While it's not required, if you plan to invite your mom and other female relatives to the bachelorette party, it would be nice to invite his family members, too. They may decline, but they'll appreciate the gesture.

(Carley Roney, co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, the nation's leading wedding resource, advises millions of brides on modern wedding etiquette at www.theknot.com. Got more questions? Visit www.theknot.com/askcarley for 800-plus answers on all things wedding.)

Q: A number of wedding invitees haven't RSVP'd yet. I plan on calling them after the deadline passes, but my mom says I should just mark them down as "no." Who's right?

A: In this case, you're right. You can't just assume that no response means no guest. RSVP cards can get lost in the mail, or a guest may not realize that they never mailed theirs. If you don't check, you could end up with unexpected guests for whom you don't have seats.

Play it safe and call anybody who hasn't responded. Just wait until a few days after the deadline has passed in case anyone mailed their RSVP at the last minute.